


Shaken, not Cleansed

by myosotisdibs



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Blood, Blood and Injury, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, i wrote this all at once and only read through it one time before posting so probably bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:02:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23582803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myosotisdibs/pseuds/myosotisdibs
Summary: Ladybug has a close call and then they try to pick up the pieces.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 3
Kudos: 107





	Shaken, not Cleansed

**Author's Note:**

> i had this idea and kind of felt like if i didnt write it i would die, so take it.
> 
> i only read through it one time after i finished writing the whole thing all at once so probably lots of mistakes, but i just want to have it leave me so maybe i can have some peace.
> 
> tw: mentions of blood

_“Ladybug, you’re bleeding…”_

_“There’s no time Chat… Please…”_

_…_

_“Bug- Marinette, please, I destroyed the akuma, please just, I need you to do the cleanse… Please just- Please I know you can do it. Just hold on a little longer.”_

_“Miraculous Ladybug!”_

  
  


* * *

  
  


Adrien was used to trying to fill silence. He had spent a lot of time with music blasting, never turning off the show he was watching, doing anything he could to reduce the quiet. First in his lonely childhood bedroom, then in his lonely young adult apartment. The music echoed there, out the open balcony door and out into the Parisian night.

Tonight, the silence was deafening. It was thick and heavy and surrounded not only him, but the girl keeping a 10 foot distance on the other side of the room. She had been here before but not like this. Not when they both knew that there was way more to the story than just his friend coming over to his housewarming party. It felt like there was nothing and too much to say; so, so much to unpack and decide and explain but he was just so, so tired. He raised his eyes from his wringing hands to check on her again.

She had her arms wrapped tightly around her middle and her eyes glued to the carpet just in front of her feet. She had entered his apartment like a ghost after not protesting that they should talk, but had remained stock still on her perch on the edge of his couch for what felt like hours. He had asked her if he could get her anything, considering she had just almost died (not that he said that, it just seemed like the polite thing to do) and she had simply shook her head. He had sat down in the armchair furthest from her spot and then the silence took over.

There was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to ask, but every word died on the tip of his tongue when he saw her pale face, her wide eyes that seemed to only blink when there was no other option. Where could he possibly start?

“Are you okay?” Seemed like a good enough place.

Her eyes closed for a moment longer than a blink, he heard her inhale slowly through her nose and then exhale just as long. “Can I use your shower? I… I just want to rinse off.”

He slowly stood, his aching legs protesting. “Of course, let me show you where it is.” His heart begged for him to reach out to her, to help her up, to hold her close, to do anything to break down this sudden wall that had gone up between them. Instead, he held out his arm in the opposite direction, motioning down the hall to his bedroom. She stood, never removing her arms as though they were the only thing holding her together.

He led her into his room, where she seemed to falter for a moment, looking hesitant, before he slid open the door to his en suite and motioned her inside. He set out a fresh towel, explained where she could find soap, shampoo, a spare toothbrush he had under his sink from when he had last bought a 2 pack. She meekly thanked him and moved to turn the water on, so he took that as his sign to go.

He slid the door shut behind him as the shower roared to life and he exhaled a shaky breath, feeling like he was still running on pure adrenaline. His room was a bit more messy than normal and he wished he had cleaned it, but who was he to know anyone was going to see it? He grabbed a few things off the floor, vaguely threw his duvet into a position that looked slightly made. Checked on Plagg and Tikki from where they snoozed in his kitchen, fetching them both a snack for when they woke. Slid the hoodie he had been wearing before it all went wrong over his head and threw it in the hamper, ignoring how sweaty it felt. Grabbed a tshirt and some gym shorts from his dresser, folding them into a neat pile and setting them on the floor near the bathroom, just in case she didn’t want to put her other clothes back on.

Marinette. He sat down on the edge of his bed, one hand coming up to rub his forehead. How could he have missed it? All this time, right next to each other. It hurt his brain to try to connect the dots of all the close calls and excuses that didn’t quite line up. Since Lycée! His first week of school and his first week of being Chat Noir. And his Lady had been right under his nose the whole time!

As the adrenaline started to wean, his mind finally came back to today. The accidental reveal, the battle that seemed unwinnable, the almost death of the most important person in his life. He felt his body tense, his breathing start to increase. There was so much blood and her skin had gone so pale and cold. The color red was everywhere and it burned into his eyes when he closed them.

He didn’t know what lifted him to his feet. He wasn’t aware of himself as he walked slowly to the bathroom door, feeling like his legs were turning to stone beneath him. He lifted his hand and hesitated, not sure exactly what he thought was about to happen. But he still hit his fist against the door once and left it resting there.

“You can come in.” Her tired voice echoed over the sound of running water, making its way out to him. He reached for the handle, completely aware of how badly he was shaking, and let the light and steam inside slowly pour into his dark bedroom.

She had her back to him in the glass enclosed shower, her hands resting on the tiled wall beneath the shower head. Her head was hanging down and the water ran down her back in waves. He worried for a moment that he was invading her privacy, like he was seeing something he shouldn’t be seeing. But his body propelled him slowly forward anyway, even though every slow step on the cold floor felt like his last. He trudged through the worst of the storm and into the eye of the hurricane.

Still clothed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, he stepped into the shower, feeling the hot water hit his feet and start to soak the bottom of his pants. He took another step toward her, keeping his eyes on her bare shoulders that slowly rose and fell with labored breaths.

After a moment of this, her head finally turned slightly toward him, her eyes meeting his for what felt like the first time in years. Her blue eyes looked pained and confused and a bit red around the edges. It finally broke whatever had been holding him together.

A sob wracked him, his hands coming to fists at his sides. “I thought I was going to lose you!” He cried, his eyes squeezing shut. “I- I thought I was going to lose the most important person I had ever known who I had just really discovered and I was so scared, Marinette. I’ve never been so terrified in my whole fucking life, oh God-” he pitched forward but felt wet skin touch his. Her arms had wrapped tight around his waist, somehow weaving themselves under his arms. Her ear pressed against his shoulder, some of her wet hair sticking to his neck. His shirt was soaked now, his entire front covered in the water that had remained on her. He shook in her arms, unable to move or respond in any way as he cried.

“I will never leave you.” She croaked out, her voice hoarse. “I will never stop fighting to come back to you.” Her arms got impossibly tighter around him. “Adrien, I promise. I’m so sorry I scared you…” A tremor passed through her own body.

He finally wrapped his arms around her now, pulling her even closer as the water poured down them both. “No, you have nothing to apologize for,” he replied vehemently as he pressed his cheek to the top of her head. “I’m sorry for not being there to protect you.”

“Chat… Adrien… It’s not your fault.” Her hands fisted in the fabric on his back. “There was nothing you could’ve done.”

He hesitated, wanting to explain that there were a million things he could’ve done, but he couldn’t find it within himself to argue. Not when he was just so grateful to have her in his arms.

“I am never going to let you go.” He took a deep breath to try and ease his shaking body. “I refuse.”

Her hands loosened, her head pulling away just enough to try to look him in the eye.

“You’re not disappointed? After all this? You’re not disappointed it’s me?” His eyes met hers, his hands quickly coming up to cup her cheeks as her arms released from their vice grip around him.

“No! Nonononono… No, Marinette.” His thumb moved back and forth on her cheek as he watched her eyes quickly dart back and forth between his own. “You were my friend first. And I… I can’t put into words right now how much I am not disappointed, but I will spend years trying to explain it if that’s what it takes.”

He looked so earnest, so honest, so vulnerable. Like he couldn’t lie to her even if he wanted to. It brought tears to her eyes again. Without thinking, she wove her arms up between his, linking them behind his neck, and simultaneously pulled him lower and got up on her tiptoes to press her lips to his.

Her eyes had closed but his were blown wide open as he struggled to process what happened during those 5 seconds. It was as if everything that had been circling around in his brain had suddenly come to a grinding halt and he couldn't do anything. She seemed to remember herself and then quickly pulled away, averting her eyes. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that, I shouldn't have-”

“Marinette,” he interrupted, using his fingers to tilt her face back toward him. “Can I kiss you again?”

She exhaled a shaky breath as her eyes closed again. A small smile coming to her face, she slowly nodded an agreement. And he kissed her with everything he had left. Trying to somehow put to action the words he longed to say but didn’t have the brain power left to form into coherent sentences. She kissed back as much as she could, her energy quickly leaving her as she clung to his soaking wet shirt.

They stayed like that for seconds, minutes, maybe an hour. Unable to process anything past the basic feeling of not being alone, of being with someone they love.

“Stay,” he breathed out against her mouth, his forehead pressed to hers. “Stay here with me tonight.”

"Okay," she replied without hesitation. "I'll stay."

And his face broke out into the most genuine grin she had ever seen.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading and if you feel like it, comments and kudos are always nice.


End file.
